Unique Funny SMS in Urdu, Hindi and English

Posts Tagged ‘angry

>> Always start your day with a lot of… S E X
S – SMILE
E – ENERGY
X – XCITEMENT
so make S E X a daily habit, and youll always B SUCC SEX FUL! in LIFE.

>> In a bath room, a boy touches a girl everywhere! You Know whose that boy? Stupid It’s Lifeboy Soap! Dirty people always think dirty.

>> pahlay hat ma lo
phir mon mai lo
phir thook lagao
phir sidha karoo
phir sorakh ma daloo
uff..
kithna muskhil ha soi mai dagha dalna

>> Beti: Maa Gaon mein Fauji aaye hain
Maa: andar aaja inki niyat bahut kharab hoti hai

Beti: Maa fauji Indian hain
Maa: to bakri ko bhi andar le aa.

>> Train mai aik husband apni wife say:
tujh say shadi ker k pachta raha hun
dil kerta hai tujhey kuttay k agay dal dun

samnay wala passenger:wao wao wao wao!!!

>> Sardar : Yar meri biwi pani se bohat darti hai.
Friend : Acha wo kaise?

Sardar : Yar kal mein ghar gaya to wo bathtub
mai bhi security guard k sath bethi thi.!!

>> Sardar sent SMS to his BOSS:
“Me sick, no work”
Boss SMS back:
“When I am sick I kiss my wife try it”
2 hours later sardar sms 2 boss:
“Me ok, ur wife very sweet”

>> In a party a lady wanted
to go to toilet so
she inquired with a sardar
papaji susu karne ki jagah dikhao,

sardarji replied u naughty
pehle tum dikhao.

>>Teacher: Bacho batao k billi 1 sath itnay
saray bachay kaisay paida karti hay?

Kid: Miss agar aap road pay billi ki
tarah ghoomo to aap ko pata chal jayega…

>> Boy:chalo kisi sunsaan/viraan jagah chaltey hain!

Girl:tum aisi-waisi harkat to nahi karoge?

Boy:bilkul nahi!

Girl:to phir rehne do…

>> Sardar on phone:

Doctor my wife is pergnant.She is having pain right now.

Doctor: Is this her first child?

Sardar: No this is her husband speaking…

>> Catch her by her waist…
Bring her home..
Keep ur hand on her neck
Put ur lips on her lips
& have a …
…nice drink…PEPSI

>> Boy and girl of class 2 asked teacher: “can kids of our age have kids?”

Teacher replied ” NO Never!!”

boy said to girl :” see i told you to not to worry!!!!”.

>> Ye Sookha Ander Jata Hai,
aur,Gila Bahir Ata Hai,
Phele Chota Hota Hai,
Phir Ye Mota Hota Hai,
Jab Ye Ander Rehta Hai,
To Ye Red Kar Deta Hai,
Thori Dair Helane Ke Bad Jab Esai Bahir Nekalo,
To Apne Kam Dikha Kar Ye,
Bejan Sa Bahir Ata Hai,
Kuch Aur Nahin Hai Ye,
Es Ko LIPTON TEA BAG ,Kahty Hain.

By: Rashi Joker

>> Flash news: A 2 seater plane crashed in a graveyard in >punjab . Local >sardars >have so far found 500 bodies and are still digging for >more.. > >

Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.

Srdr: I hav’nt slept all nite in the train.
Frnd: Y?
Srdr: Got upper berth.
Frnd: Y did’nt u Xchnged?
Srdr: oye, there was nobody 2 Xchng in the lower berth.. > > > >

Someday u may lose ur hair..
u may lose ur teeth,
ur money & even ur mind.
But there is 1 thing u will never lose…
n that is ur gOoD lOoKs!
coz…
u cant lose what u never had!

Q. Why can’t Sardar dial 911?
A. They can not find the eleven on the phone

One Sardar was enjoying Sun on a Beach in America. A lady came and asked him, ‘Are you relaxing’ Sardar answered ‘ No I am Banta Singh!’ Another guy came and asked the same Question. Sardar answered ‘ No No Me Banta Singh!’ Third one came and asked the same question Sardar was totally annoyed and decided to shift his place. While walking he saw another Sardar enjoying the Beach He went and asked him ‘ Are you Relak Singh?’ The other Sardar was much educated and answered ‘Yes I am relaxing.’ The Sardar slapped him on his face and said ‘Salay, Sab tere ko wahah dhoond rahe hai aur tu yahaan aaram kar raha hai?’

This message is strictly for smart and cute readers,
Since u have received it,
.

.

.

It is Obviously a Technical Error…
Sender Deeply Apologizes….

BEST THREE COMEDY LINES IN OUR COLLEGE LIFE:
1. DONT DISTURB I WANT TO STUDY………

2.NO CLASS LETS GO TO LIBRARY…….
AND THE BEST ONE IS…………..
3. SIR I HAVE A DOUBT……

Friends Are like “Priya Gold Biscuit” Haq Se maango
Girl Friends are like Pepsi
Yeh Dil Maange More
Wife is like a medicine
Bas Ek hi kaafi hai

Once a Sardarji was going to his office.
On the way he slipped on a banana peel and was badly hurt.
Next day , on his way to the office, he noticed a banana peel
and Later after two days, he noticed two banana peels and
exclaimed” ari sala, aaj to choice hai”!!!!!!

Could u fax me ur photo very very urgently ? Mind u it’s really very very urgent, damn serious and very imp

I’m playing cards and we’ve misplaced the JOKER.

Sardar g in medical college – Needless to say he never made it –

Antibody – against everyone
Artery – the study of fine paintings
Bacteria – back door to a cafeteria
Benign – what you be after you be eight
Bowel – letters like a,e,i,o,u
Caesarian Section – a district in Rome
Cardiology – advanced study of Poker playing
Cat Scan – searching for lost kitty
Chronic – neck of a crow
Coma – punctuation mark
Cortisone – area around local court
Cyst – short for sister
Diagnosis – person with slanted nose
Dilate – the late British Princess Diana
Dislocation – in this place
Duodenum – couple in blue jeans
Enema – not a friend
False Labor – pretending to work
Genes – blue denim
Groin – to mash to a pulp / smile
Hernia – she is close by
Hymen – greeting to several males
Impotent – distinguished / well-known
Labor Pain – hurt at work
Lactose – people without feet
Lymph – walk unsteadily
Menopause – I no wait
Microbes – small dressing gowns
Obesity – City of Obe
Pacemaker – winner of Nobel Peace Prize
Protein – in favor of teens
Pulse – grain
Pus – small cat
Red Blood Count – Dracula
Rupture – Ecstasy
Secretion – hiding anything
Subcutaneous – not cute enough
Suture – Gujrati for “what do you want”
Tablet – small table
Tumor – extra pair
Ultrasound – radical noise
Urine – opposite of you’re out
Varicose – very close
Vas Deferens – extremely different
Vein – at what time?
Vitreous Humor – both witty & funny

Waiter: Would you like your coffee black…?
Sardar : What other colors do you have…?

If you eve want 2 suceed in your life,
Be sweet as Honey,
Be regular as Clock,
Be fresh as rose,
Be soft as Tissue,
Be strong as Rock
And be good as !!!!me…..

Evolution of Man:
Shadi se pahale: HERO No. 1
Shadi ke baad: COOLIE No. 1

Shadi se pahale: Meine Pyar Kiya
Shadi ke bad: Yeh Meine kya kiya

Husband asks, Do you know the meaning of WIFE.
It means…
Without
Information
Fighting
Everytime!

WIFE satys No, it means –
With
Idiot
for
Ever

I cannot hide this from u any more.
I don’t want 2 hurt u
and I feel it’s best if I tell u,
before you hear it from someone else …………
Potato Prices Have Gone Up !

1 day u’ll B srprisd 2 c ME beside U.
U & ME laughing,
U & ME crying,
U & ME dreaming,
U & ME holding on,
U & ME…
just U & ME sitting in a MENTAL HOSPITAL & ME CHECKING U.

You = Lovely
You = Perfect

You = Beautiful
You = Amazing
You = sweet
You = Cute
You = gorgeous
You = Fantastic
You = Fabulous
me = lier! )

Try 2 understand n dont disturb me more.
Leave me alone.
Last night i didn’t sleep thnking of u.
So don’t play with my life.-
Sardar was saying 2 mosquito

nterviewer: Tell me opposite of gööd.
sardar: Bad.
intvwr: Come.
srdr: Go.
intvwr: Ugly.
Srdr: Pichli.
intvwr: Shutup!
Srdr: Keep talking.
intvwr: Get out!
Srdr: Come in.
intvwr: Oh God!
Srdr: Oh devil.
intvwr: U r rejected!
Srdr: I m selected.
BALLE BALLE !

Sardar..Papa condom kia hota hai?
Sardar’s Papa..Chal bhaag mujhay nahi pata.
Sardar..Tabhi to hum 11 bhai hain..!hehehe

Love
Easy to say – Difficult to stay..
Beautiful to feel – Difficult to deal…
Difficulty is a part of Life…
But That’s the reason…
Why Girlfriend is never a wife?

Koi gham nhn,phir b dil terey liye udaas hai.
Koi rishta nhn,per ek ehsaas hai.
Kehney kohain bohat apney,per tu hi ek khaas hai.

Waiter gives bill 2Sardar Sardar:Take this card.Waiter: But sir,this is Ration card.Sardar: So what?U hv written there- ALL CARDS ACCEPTED.

Sardar wins 20 cr from Rs. 20 lottery ticket. Dealer gave 11 cr after deducting tax.
Angry Sardar: “Give me 20 cr or else return my 20 Rs back.!

Exam se teen din pehle jab syllabus dekha to esa laga …
“KUCH TO HUA HE …KUCH HO GAYA HE…”
exam ke din jab paper samne aaya to esa laga…
“SAB KUCH ALAG HE… SAB KUCH NAYA HE …”

can you lend me 2000 Rs?
i need it.
please help me out,
i know you have it,
i will return it.
(a sardar asks to ATM machine)

Sardar read at petrol pump ” Dont Use Mobile Here” Sardar call everyone and say them Dont call me

when sardar experimenting a cockroach, he cut 1 of itz legz and told to walk.
The cockroach began moving slowly.
He continued thiz until all legz were cut out.
Then he told it to walk, but it didnt move. So he wrote the interference:
“If all the legz of a cockroach were cut, it lozez itz ability to hear”.

stupid questions with smart answers….
boy:may i hold u r hand?
girl:no thanks its not heavy.
boy:plz say u love me..
gorl:u love me..
girl:if we get engaged will u give me a ring?
boy:sure whats u r mobile no..
girl:darling,i want to dance like this for ever
boy:dont u ever want to improve…

Boy: Mein last tyme Pooch raha hoo,Kya tum Mujhe se Shadi karoo Gi???
Girl: Nahi
Boy: Sooch Lo………..
Girl: Kaha Na Nahiiii
Boy: Waiter ! Bill Alag Alag lana !

There was once Genie who came & askd, “Name ur wish”.
The man askd “Make me Gorgeous”.
Genie replied, “I grant wishes not f**king miracles”

Sardar-why r all these people running?
Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
Sardar-If only the winner will get the cup, why r
others running?

You can write ur favourite sms in the comment box below..


>>Lab Pe Hi Rukti Hai Baat Aate Aate
Neend To Nahi Aati Sapnay Bohat Hain Aate
Hum To Hain Phasay Ik Haseen Uljhan Mein
Kaash Woh Aakar Iseh Suljhaate:::::::::::
By: Wasiq Ansari

>> Wada kero per nibhana sikho
Chahat dil mein rakho per jitna sikho
U hi kisi ko intizar na karvao
Koi ager pyar se SMS kare to jawab dena sikho.

>> Kal ko milne ki aas rehne do,
Zindagi ki baqi pyas rhne do,
Apni khushiyan smait lo jana,
Mujh ko u hi udas rhne do.

>> Zulf rukh say hatta k bat karo
raat ko din bana k bat karo
ashianay k charagh madhum hain tum zara
aankhain uttha k baat karo koi taza fareb
danain ko tum zara muskara k baat karo
yeh bhi andazay guftagu hai koi jab karo dil dukha k bat karo.
By: Dapper

>>Apney he Habe-e-Haal mangti hon,
Bas Dua-e-Wisaal Mangti hon,
Teri qurbat main jo guzar sako,
main wohi maah-o-saal mangti ho,
jiski tabeer mil sake mujhko,
Khuab sa ik khyaal mangti hon,
Mere hathon ko bas hina dedey,
Tujhse main zar na maal mangti hon.
By: Alyna Siddiqui

>> Ab is dil se ye gawara nahi hota,
inBOX main koi SMS tumhara nahi hota,
Bhool ker he sms ker diya kero,
Sirf yaad kerne se guzara nahi hota.
By: Asad Siddiqui


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