Unique Funny SMS in Urdu, Hindi and English

Posts Tagged ‘Hindi Funny SMS

Yoga teacher to a woman: Has yoga any effect over your husband’s drinking habit?

Woman: Yes, an amazing funny effect! Now he drinks the whole bottle standing upside down over his head.

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Banta: Kal Muje 10 logo ne Peeta.
Santa: Phir tune kya kiya?

Banta: Maine kaha salon Ek-Ek karke aao.
Santa: Phir?

Banta: Phir kya, Salon ne ek-ek karke dubara Peeta!

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Pathan’s Friend: What is call girl?

Pathan: Khocha jab ap kisi ko call karta hai, Tab ek larki call per bolti hai k aap ka blnce na kafi hai, us ko call girl bolte hain.

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SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY
Dont get confused, Aray Baba SORRY means:

S->Some,
O->One Is,
R->Really,
R->Remembering
Y->You..

Have A wonderful day!

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Dard dene waale bahut milte hai,
Magar dard lene waale kam milte hai,
Nazuk waqt me hume zarur yaad karna,
Kyuki zindagi me chahne waale bahut kam milte hai.

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I can’t find a reason why Life Introduced Me to You..

But that’s not the question.

Question is: How life knew that I needed a lovely one like you???

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Yaaden Aansu hoti to chalak jati,
Yaaden likhawat hoti to padhi jati,
Yaaden to zindgi me basa wo ehsas hai,
Jo lakh kosiso ke baad bhi lafzo me nahi simat pati..

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1 Bacha ek ghar ki bell bajane ki koshish kr raha tha:

1 Baba G ne dekha to us k pas ja k Bell beja di or pocha beta or koi kam ho to btao.

Bacha: Baba nass hun.

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Inspector to Banta: Phaansi se pehle, bata teri antim ichha kya hai?

Banta: Mere pair upar aur sir neeche kar k faansi de do..

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BOY 2 girl: Tu hi to Jannat meri,
Tu hi mera junon or kuach na janu me,
Bas itna hi janu,
Tujme RAB dikhta hai YARA me kya kru.

Girl: Mattha tek or Dafaa ho.

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Aap Humko Achy lagty Ho,
Door jaty ho jitna utna Dil k Qareeb lagty ho,
Meri Qismat main tum nahi lekin,
Phir bhi mujhko Apna Naseeb Kyon Lagty ho?

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Koi Pal Bina Tumhary,
Bhala Kese Beet Jaye.

Mere Paas tum nahi ho,
Meri Yaad k nagar Main.

Mere Khuab k Safar main,
Meri Soch ki Tahon Main,

Meri aankh k Bhanwar main
Bas Aarzu Tumhari,

Is Aarzu se aagy,
Koi Raasta Nahi hai,

Tumhain Kis Qadar hai Chaha
Ye Tumhain Pata nahi Hai.

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Aik sardar Europe gaya wahan us ko police ne roka aur investigation start kar di..

Sardar ko English nai aati thi..

Us ne Sick Leave ki Application suna di.

Police ne use Pagal samajh k chor dia..

Wife: Wah sardar jee tusi te great o.

Sardar: O A tey kuch vi nai Hale te may Thirsty Crow nai sunai..

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Aaj ksi ne mjhe phon kya
Aur
AaP k barey me kuch btya
Me us ka naam to nhi bta skta
Per
Wo aap k barey me keh raha tha k aap

* some text missing *

Funny Messages

Wife husbnd se: Aji! agar me gum ho gai to tum kya karoge?

Husbnd:Its the time 2 disco,

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 _/"\_

Kon dhondega tjhko,,
Kabhi na milay tu mujhko.

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Faqeer to Sardar: Aap k parrosi ne mujhey pait bhar kr khana khilaya hai, Aap bhi mujhe kuch de dein..

Sardar: Ye lo HAJMOLA…

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Hum Ne Unko Miss Call de kar Apni Yaad Dilai Thi FARAZ!
.
.
.
Unhon Ne Msg kar k kaha.
.
.
.
Keera Hai kya?

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Mere mehbob ki hoshiyari to dekho Faraz,

Ramzan Mubarak main kehti hai aao Lunch pr chalen.

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Utho Utho School Bus aa gai,
Ye keh kr unho ne jaga dya Faraz,

.
Aur ek hum nadan jin ko baad main yaad aya Summer Vacation hai.

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Pathan ne Major Rohail ko dawat pr bulaya
Major Rohail khana dekh kr bhag gya
Kyu?

Khana:
Naswar Pulao
Naswar Karahi

Sweet Dish:
Naswar Halwa

Drink:
Naswar Cola

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Pathan: Khocha Budget 2009/2010 bohat acha hai
hum bohat khush hai budget se.

.
Major Rohail: Kyu?

Pathan: Oy yaara…
NASWAR par TAX jo nahi laga.

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Bush to Obama: Main ne tum se kaha ta k ye Pathan Dashatghard Hain.

Obama: Kyun?

Bush: Deka nahi k teen pathano
ne Gharib Sri lanka team se world cup cheen liya.

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Memon K Ghar Se Choontiyan Ja Rahen Thin…
.
.
Memon: Kahan Ja Rahi Ho ?
.
.
Choonti: Bhai Bhooka Marnay Se T0 Behtar Hai Hijrat Kar Jaeyn.

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JUDGE to PATHAN: Tumhara juram sabit ho chuka hai, Kal tumhain phansi pe latkaya jae ga..
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.
.
PATHAN: Woh to theek hai lekin Utara kab jae ga?

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APPLE Juice
MANGO Juice
TARBUZ Juice
BADAM Juice
KHAJOOR Juice
BANANA Juice

Agr in mein se kuch nahi pasand to,

ANGOOTHA Chooooos.
Kanjoos.

Sms karta he nahi.

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Mere mehbob ne kaha aaj hum tumhare pyar ki intaha dekhna chahte hai Faraz,

Ye keh kar unho ne apna Summer Vacation ka kaam mere hath main thama dya.

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Pathan: Mujhe to ankhain band karny par bhi dikhai deta hai.

Friend: Acha! Kya dikhai daita hay?
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.
.
.
Pathan: ANDHERA!

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Bivi Par Hukoomat Karne Wale Begherat Hote Hain,

Asal Mard Wo Hai Jo Bivi Ko Marwa Kar Hukoomat Karta Hai… ;->

Asif Zardari

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Sheikh ki BV rorahi thi:

Kisi ne pucha k q rorahi ho?

Usne kaha k mujse DETOL gir gaya tha
or sheikh sb ne meri ungli kaat k usi DETOL
main dibo de takay DETOL zaya na ho.

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Ek larka cinema mei film dekhne gya..
Sath wali seat pe ek bari bi beth gæin.
Unk pass 7UP ki bottle thi..
Wo film k doraan hr 10 minute pr ek sip leti..
2 hours bad larke ne unki bottle li or ek he saans mei khali kr k bola,
“Aapse khatm nahi ho rhi thi, isliye meine krdi”
Is per Bari bee boli…

“Main to is mei PAAN thook rahi thi”

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Friend 2 Sheikh:
Mujhe apni ring de do main ring ko
dekh k tumhay yaad karu ga

Sheikh:
Tum ye soch k muje yaad kr lena
k mene ring mangi thi or usne nahi di.

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Agar Spiderman PAKISTAN mai banti
to us ka nam kya hota?

Zara socho

.

.

.

Phr socho

“JAALAY wala GUJJAR”

Loveliest SMS Collection

45 Saal Ka Aadmi Larki Dekhny Gaya!

Larki Ki Maa Dekh K Behosh Ho Gai
Jab
Hosh Aaya
Waja Poochi?
Tou Boli 25 Saal Pehle
Ye Mujhy B Dekhny Aaya Tha… =P 😉

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If My T0mOr0w Never C0ms,
Im S0ry,
F0r Al The Mean Thngs I Might Hav Said..
Im S0ry,
F0r Al The Thngs I Did 0r Didnt D0..
Im S0ry,
If I Ever Ign0red U..
Im S0ry,
If I Ever Made U Feel Bad 0r Put U D0wn..
Im S0ry,
If I Ever Th0t I Was Bigger 0r Better Than U..
Im S0ry,
F0r Everything Wr0ng I’ve Ever D0ne..
Im Writing This Bec0z Wat If My T0m0r0w Never C0mes?
Wat If I Never Get A Chance T0 Say Gudbye Or Wat If I Never Get To Say SoRy!
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Gairon Se Manga To Zillat Mli

ALLAH Se Manga To Izzat Mli

Aye Mangne Wale Mang Usi Se Jo Deta Hai Kushi Se

Or

Kehta Nhi Ksi Se…

Subha Bakhair
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Ibtidaay Ishq Hai Rota Hai Kya…

“Zara Ghor Se Dekh Ye Tera Khota Hai Kia?

(\./)
/.”.) “^—-;”;_
\,,/”( , , )
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Desk Pe Kisi Class Ki Tanha,

Student Tha Koi Udas Betha,
Kehta Tha Exam Sir Pe Aye,
Khelny Kodny Mai Saal Guzara,
Sun K Student Ki Ye Baat,Pharra Koi Pas Hi Se Bola,
Hazir Hu Madad Ko Dil-O-Jan Se,
Pharra Hu Agarchy Mai Zara Sa,
Hain Student Wohi Jahan Mai Ache,
Hoty Hain Jo Pas Pharron Se..
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Baaten Sunte Raho
Baaten Karte Raho
Dil Ki Awaz Ko Ab Dabana Nahi Baaten Sunte Raho Baaten Karte Raho Dil May Jo Baat Hai Wo Chupana Nahi

Aate Jate Hue
Maine Dekha Use
Bola Dil Ab Nigahen Hatana Nahi

Subho Se Sham Phir
Raat Dhalti Gai
Roshni Chehre Ki Us K Her Su Rahi
Baaten Sunte Raho Baaten Karte Raho
Dil May Jo Baat Hai Wo Chupana Nahi

Naam Likhta Raha Or Chupata Raha Keh Saka Usko Dil Ka Fasana Nahi Ek Din Mil Gaya Koi Apna Usay Kar Gai Bheer May Kaise Tanha Mujhe Tab Laga Yun Mujhe Mere Ghar May Usay Chand Bun Kar Kabhi Jagmagana Nahi

Main To Mayoos Tha
Surmai Sham May
Zindagi Bhejdi Usne Pygham May

Mil Gai Wo Mujhe
Keh Diya Ye Use Aagaye Hoto Ab Duur Jana Nahi
Baaten Sunte Raho
Baaten Karte Raho
Dil May Jo Baat Hai Wo Chupana Nahi…!
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Budha : Beti Tumhara Nahna Muna Bhai Har Waqt Rota Kyon Rehta Ha…?

Beti : Ap K Ball Na Ho Ap K Dant Na Ho Ap Chal Phir Na Sakien Bat Cheet Bi Na Kr Sakien Tou Ap Kiya Roye Ge Nahe.
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Why V Make FRENDZ?
Coz They Understand Just By Looking In Our Eyes…
Coz U Can Say Sumthing Stupid Or Expose Ur Deepest Secrets To Them…
Coz They Believe In Ur Dreams No Matter How Silly They May Seem..Coz They Luv U For What U Are..
And Finally..
Coz Evrything U Do Together Becomes A Memory 🙂
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USAY ITNA
BATA DENA…!!

Main Us Se Door Ho Kr B,

Bohat Majboor Ho Kr B,

Dukhon Se Choor Ho Kr B,

Usi Ko Yaad Krti Hon,

USAY ITNA
BATA DENA

Main Dukh Apne Chupa Kr B,

Khushi K Geet Ga Kr B,

Hansi Honton Pr Saja Kr B,

Usi Ko Yaad Karti Hon,

USAY ITNA
BATA DENA

Jahan K Ghamon Mein Kho Kr B,

Main DiL K Daagh Dho Kr B,

Kisi K Paas Ho Kr B,
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Wo Aksar Fursat Main Ek Kaam Karte Hain

Bana K Aaina Humain Salam Karte Hain

UsKi Masoom Adaayn Usay Ruswa Na Kr Dain

Wo Likh K Darakhton Pe Mera Naam Aam Karte Hain

Us K Maathay Se Ubharta Hai Subah Ka Noor

Aur Andhere UsKi Zulfon Main Aaram Karte Hain

AanKhon Se Waardatain Karna Hai Paisha UnKa

Dilon Ki Choriaan Wo Sar É Aam Karte Hain

Zamana Tera Hi TalabGaar Sahi SAGAR

Kuch Hussan Waale Humara Bhi Ehtram Karte Hain,
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Baray Hi Afsos Ki Baat Hy
Pura Din Guzar Gaya Mgr
Jtna Afsos Mjhy Aaj Hua Hy
Main Bs Bata Nhi Skta
Aapny MUJHY WISH TAK NAHI KIA!
AAJ
“SMART” Ppl Day Tha

Police wala: Main ne tumhen hath dya tha, To tum rukey kyu nahi?

Sardar Driver: O G main samja k aap mujhe Salam kar rahe hai.

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Sardar aur Major Rohail ki khob pitai hue:

Dono Birthday Party me muft ka khana khaty huay pakray gaye or kehne lagay,
.

.
“Hum larki walo ki taraf se hain”.

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Itni mehngai main bhi ek kaam roz roz hota hai Faraz

Dhooz Dhooz Dhaaz Dhaaz – Bomb Dhamaka.

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Phatan: Aaj mene Rs.5000 ka Easyload krvaya, aur sab dosto/family ko SMS kr dye.

Major Rohail: Kyu?

Phatan: O G sunna hy ab SMS per 20 pyse Tax lagne wala hy.

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Tu ne kabhi kisi ko SMS nhi kya.
Mene tujhe itna shrminda kya phir b tu ne kabhi SMS nhi kya!
Ab to SMS kar do
ya
TAX lagne ka intazar kr rahe ho.

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Sardar: Mene kal easy load waly ko bewakoof banaya!

Major Rohail: Woh kese?

Sardar: Hum ne usko 100 Rupey dya or number galat likhwa diya…

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Bubbli: Uncle Uncle Choor, Daku ur Jail yafta mujrimon per TAX kyu nhi lagta?

Zardari: Beta phir to sab k sab MNA, MPA aur Govt mulazammen ko TAX net me lana pere ga.

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Santa meets his friend Bunta!

Santa: A B, A B, A B, A B, A B…!
Banta: Oye, Iska Matlab?

Santa: Kuch Nahin Yaar, I Mean Long Time No C..!

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Aazmaish rishton main zaroor hoti hai,
Na mil pana kisi ki majboori hoti hai,

Yaad to door se bhi kar sakty hain,
Par Dil ki hasrat to mil kar he poori hoti hai.

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Bharosay ki ek jorri hai DOSTI,
Betaab Dil ki Majboori hai DOSTI,
Na mano to kuch nahi hai ye DOSTI,
Aur mano to Insaan ki kamzori hai DOSTI.

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Friend and Blood have only one difference…

Blood enters in Heart and Flow out,,,

But

Friend enters in Heart and Stay inside forever.

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Santa: When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger?

Jasmeet: I clean the toilet bowl.
Santa: How does that help?

Jasmeet: I use your toothbrush!

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Wo konsa janwar hai jis k sir par 50 saal k bad baal nikalty hen or us ka moun aisa he jesy pighli hui mombti?

.
.
.
.

Bata dun?
.

Nawaz Sharif!!

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Today Is World Red Rose Night.
If U Love My Friendship or with my relation Give 1 Missed Call
And Send This 2 Al Ur Friend
N See How Many Missed Call U Get

Today Is World Red Rose Night.

If U Love My Friendship or with my relation Give 1 Missed Call

And Send This 2 Al Ur Friend

N See How Many Missed Call U Get.

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I think I’m Disturbing you, Sorry!

This is my Last Msg and
I will not Msg you any more.
Good Bye.

Never Expect that From Me.

I’m Born to Disturb You.

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Lady: So, you want to become my son-in-law?

Boy: Not really, but I don’t see any other way 2 merry your daughter!

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Aik larki buhat piyasi thi achanak usay ALA-DIN ka CHIRAGH mila.

Usne usay ragra aur JIN se kaha: Meri piyas bhujao

JIN:
PEPSI wali

Ya
IMRAN HASHMI wali?
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Pathan ki girlfriend ne usko message kya:

“I Miss U”

Bohat dair sochny k baad Pathan ne jawab dya:

“I Student U”
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Sardar writes 2 Bill Gates abt PC & Windows problems:

1. My child learnd MS WORD now he wants MS SENTENCE.

2. I find only
RE-CYCLE BIN but no
RE-MOTORCYCLE BIN

3. I see MS OFFICE but i want to use this softwre @ home so i need MS HOME.

4. Finally, how is dat ur name is GATES but u r selling WINDOWS.
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Pathan 2 doctor: Mujhey 1 problem hay
DR:Kia?

Pathan: Bat karty waqt admi dikhai nahin deta
Dr: Aisa kub hota hay?

Pathan: Phone kartay waqt.
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Maths Teacher Was Teaching Mathematical Conversions

Teacher: If 1000 Kgs = Ton. Then

For 3000 Kgs =How Much?

Santa:
Ton! Ton! Ton!
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Man sees Sardar-G standing in d middle of a huge field of grass & notices,

He is just standing dere, doing nothing, looking @ nothing

Man asks: Sardar-G What r U doing?

Sardar-G: I’m trying 2 win a noble prize

Man: How?

Sardar-G: Well I heard they give d noble prize 2 ppl who r outstanding in their field.
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Funny SMS Forum
Teacher: How Do You Differentiate “WIFE” & “MOTHER”

SARDAR:
Before Marriage We Sleep With “MOTHER”

&

After Marriage
We Sleep With Our “WIFE”
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Pyar krne wale log UFoNE se bat krte ha
Knjus Z0nG se
Amer Jazz se
Khbsurt WARID se
Ziddi TELENOR se
Lekin zaheen log kbhi bat nai krte
Wo mri trha
SMS
karte hain.
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Ek Sardar:
Oye Badmashaa meri paen da dupatta wapis kar de.

Badmash: Chal Oye Chal Tu ki karen ga.

Sardar: Peeko karani se.

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Man:Sardar jee aap ko garmi lagti hai to kia karte ho?
Sardar:AC k pas ja k beth jata hon

Man:Agar phir bhi garmi lagay to?
Sardar:To A/C on kar laita hon :p
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1 Sardar Police Station K Bahar Se
Guzra Aur Poster Pe Parha

“Wanted For RAPE & MURDER ..”

Sardar Ne Andar Ja Ker Kaha:
“I Want To Apply For This Job”
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Teacher: Story Sunao.

Sardar:1 din hum un k ghar gaye to woh soye howay thay
1 din wo hamare ghar aye to hum soye howa thay.

Moral: Jesa karo gay, waisa bharo gay
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Doctor: Bachey ko paani
dene se pehle boil ker lena chahiye.

Sardar: Lekin Janab, Boil karne se bacha marr tou nahi jaye ga.
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Train me 1 Machchar Chinese ka sir per betha,
Woh usko pakar kar kha gaya!

Phir 1 Machchar Memon k sir par betha,
Usne pakar kar Chinese se pucha:

Khareeday Ga?
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Hum khud pe “GHAROOR” nhi karty.

Kisi ko dosti k liye “MAJBOOR” nhi karty.

Bus apny dil may basa lety hain.

AUR PHIR

Marty dam tak “DOOR” nhi karty!
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Ishq Ka Jis Ko Bhi Khuwab Aajata Hai…
Waqt Samjho Kharab Aajata Hai…

Mehboob Aaye Ya Na Aaye Janaab…
Taaray Gin Gin K Hisaab Aajata Hai…!
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Agr basanti ki mausi thakur ko rakhi bandhy to Veeru & thakur ka kia rishta hua?
.
.
.
.
.
Apna kaam karo Koi rishta nahi banta, Thakur k hath hi nhi thy.

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Kiyon jaagte ho? Kia sochte ho?
Kuch humse kaho, Tanha na raho,

Socha na karo.
Ab raat ki ankhen bheegh chaleen aur CHAND b ha chup jane ko.
Kuch dair mein shabnam aye gi pholon ki piyaas bujhane ko.
Shadaab shagoofon ki soorat khuwabon k nagar mein kho jao
Ab,,,,so jao
Ab,,,,so jao…
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Sardar saw a very high Airtel Tower
& Red Light glowing on the top:

Seeing this he said: India is developing fast,
See there are traffic signals for Aeroplane in the air.
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Sardar: Yaar mujhe 1 Hathora
or keel chahiye computer k lye.

Sales man: Magar computer me inka kia kam?
Sardar:Oye yar mujhe computer mein windows lagani hai.

Har aahat pe jan
Har aahat pe jan nikal jati hai Faraz.

Ye Public Toilet me kundi kyon Nahi hoti??????

Real Fact Of D Millenium
Real Fact Of The Millennium.

Whenever U Throw A Stone In The Streets Of Lahore Or Karachi,

It’ll Surely Hit..

A Dog

Or

AN ENGINEER.

A boy going in car
A boy going in car.
Suddenly he saw a girl lying in the middle of road. He came out and..

To be continued..
To listen the full story plz snd 50 easy load ;->

Baray zalim hain
Baray zalim hain is sheher k log Faraz!!!
.
.
.
.
.
.

Sim Badal k kehtay hain Batao hum Kon hain ? 😀

A Great Loser
Definition of “A great loser”:

A person who dials a number
(written with lipstick on a phone booth)
and…

.

.

.

His wife picks up the phone…

Suno
Aj mere pass

Mobile hy

Charger Hy

SIM hy

Battery Hy

Tumhare pass kya hy?
Khali Inbox?
Agr nhi to
SMS he send kr do yaar.

W & Women
You know why Women starts with “W”

Because all Questions start with “W”

Who?
Why?
What?
When?
Which?
Whom?
Where?

Wife..?

A Lot Of Fellows
Fact …
A Lot Of Fellows Now A Dayz Have

B.A
B.B.A
M.B.A
B.E
B.S
Or
Ph.D

Unfortunately
They Don’t Have A
J.O.B … ;->

Oy TEREEE TU
OY!
Teri
Teri
Teri
Teri to
Teri to
Teri to
.
.
bohat yaad aa rhe hai
koi SMS he kr do.

J 13 Khayal 20 na aaway
J 13 Khayal 20 na aaway,
80 udaas ho jaandy aan,
Tay 100 v nai sakday,
Chalo aih 10 diyo,
K tusi 20 saanu inna e yaad karday o?
ya rooz 32 band kar k 100 janday o..

J 13 Khayal 20 na aaway
J 13 Khayal 20 na aaway,
80 udaas ho jaandy aan,
Tay 100 v nai sakday,
Chalo aih 10 diyo,
K tusi 20 saanu inna e yaad karday o?
ya rooz 32 band kar k 100 janday o..

Any body can love
dAny body can love a Rose
But it takes a great deal to love a leaf.
Dont love some one who is beautiful,
But love the who can make u r life beautiful…

April Fool SMS

SATHIYAA. . . . .
SATHIYAA. . . . .

* some text missing *

Breaking News “Pakistan Zindabad”
Mulk ki halat ki wajah se ye Nara Tabdeel kar diya gaya hai.
Naya Nara hai.

*

*

*
Pakistan se Zinda Bhag
Funny SMS
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Please aap kisi ko gaali na den, is se aap k gunah barhtay hain,
Kisi ko bura bhala kehna ho to usay PARVAIZ MUSHARRAF keh den, woh khud he sharminda ho jayega.
Shukriya.
Send Me SMS
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Tip of the Day
Kabhi ye mat socho tumhari girl friend ne tumhain kitna Romantic SMS bheja hai.
Hamesha ye socho usay kisne bheja hai?

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Usay Taraash k heera to bana diya hum ne Faraz
Magar ab ye sochte hain usay khareeden kaise?

Yehi soch kar uski har baat ko sach mana hai Faraz,
K itnay khubsoorat lub jhoot kese bolen gay?
Ramadan SMS
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Forward this msg to 10 peoples
&
You will get nothing!!!

Its true.
Its working.

Even I didnt get anything!!!
Except a Lovely Smile on your Face.
Girls Mobile Numbers
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1 Baat batao please.
Isko mazaaq main mat taal dena.
Gol Mol jawab nahi chalega.
Dekho kuch baten Zindagi main bohat Ehem hoti hain.
Such batao.

LIGHT HAI?


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