Unique Funny SMS in Urdu, Hindi and English

Posts Tagged ‘sardar ji

  • They’ve got a picture of her at the hospital – it saves using the stomach pump.Posted By: Joomla On: Sunday, July 29, 2007 | Messages: 1

  • About as innocent as a Nun doing pressups in a Cucumber field.Posted By: Joomla On: Sunday, July 29, 2007 | Messages: 1

  • Whiter than a pair of Snow White’s knickers.Posted By: Joomla On: Sunday, July 29, 2007 | Messages: 1

  • He’s got a face as long as an undertakers tapemeasure.Posted By: Joomla On: Sunday, July 29, 2007 | Messages: 1

  • He’s as red as an overdrawn account at the local blood bank.Posted By: Joomla On: Sunday, July 29, 2007 | Messages: 1

  • You could park a bike on that bum.Posted By: Joomla On: Sunday, July 29, 2007 | Messages: 1

  • As useful as a grave robber in a crematorium.Posted By: Joomla On: Sunday, July 29, 2007 | Messages: 1

  • They call her ‘The radio station’ cuz she’s so easy topick up.Posted By: Joomla On: Sunday, July 29, 2007 | Messages: 1


  • I’ve seen better teeth on a worn out gear box.Posted By: Rehan On: Sunday, July 29, 2007 | Messages: 1

  • He’s as camp as a row of tents.Posted By: Ariese Ansari On: Sunday, July 29, 2007 | Messages: 1

Text Insults By Page: 1 – 23 Next

  • CHAPPAL or LOTAY
    Kyon her baar mosam ki tarah badal jate ho,
    her naye saal hamara dil dukhate ho,
    Ye baat sun ker hamari rooh tak Kanp uthti hai,
    Ae dost tum masjidon se CHAPPAL or LOTAY churate ho.

    Posted By: Fayyaz Khan On: Friday, November 09, 2007 | Messages: 2

  • DUM hila rahe ho
    Ye kis tarah yaad aarahe ho,
    Aankhen band hain phir bhi nazar aarahey ho,
    Najane kyon aisa lagata hai, samne khare ho aur DUM hila rahe ho.

    Posted By: Wajahat Karim On: Saturday, November 10, 2007 | Messages: 1

  • LIKHNE WALA GADHA
    Aapko yaad hoga na! ek baar aap kahin ja rahe they k ek diwaar per Parha “PARHNE WALA GADHA”.
    Aapko bohat Gussa aaya aur aapne use mita ker likh diya “LIKHNE WALA GADHA”

    Posted By: Wajahat Karim On: Saturday, November 10, 2007 | Messages: 1

  • LAUGHING AT U
    Roses r red, voilets r blue, Monkey Like U should b kept in ZOO.
    Don’t get angry, u will find me there too, not in the cage,
    But LAUGHING AT U. HA HA HA

    Posted By: Wajahat Karim On: Saturday, November 10, 2007 | Messages: 1


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Dosti SMS

  • A person sends a msg to his friend.Jis tarha heere ko heera katta hai… Sone ko sona katta hai… Lohey ko loha katta hai.. Theek usi tarha dekh lena ek na ek din.. Tumhe kutta katega…

    Friend replies
    Itna maronga k apne zakham chato gay.
    Main ne tumhara kya bigara hai jo tum mujhe kato gay?

    Posted By: Jasper On: Monday, July 30, 2007 | Messages: 2

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  • Aap ki palkon per khawab rakh gaya koi,
    aap ki sanso per naam likh gaya koi,
    Chaloo wada hai aap se bhool jana humain,
    Agar hum se acha dost aapko mil jahay koi.

    Posted By: Dhump On: Tuesday, August 07, 2007 | Messages: 1

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  • Aapki aankhon main milegi humain panah,
    Chahe samjho dil lagi ya samjho gunah,
    Bhaley he humain koi DEEWANA qarar dey,
    Hum to ho gaye aapki dosti main **”FANAA”**

    Posted By: Dhump On: Tuesday, August 07, 2007 | Messages: 1

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  • Qarz dosti ka ada kon karay ga?
    dost na hon gay to wafa kon karay ga?
    aey ALLAH mere doston ko salamat rakhna,
    warna mere jinay ki dua kon karay ga?

    Posted By: Dapper On: Tuesday, August 07, 2007 | Messages: 1


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  • Woh darakht jin per parindon k ghar nahi hotey,
    Daraz jitney bhi hon mautbar nahi hotey,
    mere doston ki pehchan hai sirf itni,
    Un k dilon main nafraton k ghar nahi hotey.

    Posted By: Dapper On: Tuesday, August 07, 2007 | Messages: 1

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  • Jisney Chand ki roshni nahi dekhi.
    jisney pholon ki tazgi nahi dekhi.
    jo ye kehte hain k mitt jati hai dooriyon se dosti.
    Usney shayad hamari dosti nahi dekhi.

    Posted By: Dapper On: Tuesday, August 07, 2007 | Messages: 1

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  • Dost
    Beshak Kuch Waqt Ka Intzar
    Mila Hamko, Par Khuda se Badkar
    Yaar Mila Hamko, Na rahi Tammana
    Kisi Jannat Ki, E-Dost Teri Dosti
    se Wo Paar mila hamko!!!!!!!!

    Posted By: Lupoka On: Friday, August 24, 2007 | Messages: 1

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  • Yaad
    Her taraf khamoshi kaa saya hai,
    zindagii me pyar kisne paya hai?
    hum yaado me jhoomte hai unki,
    Aur zamana kehta hai “Dekho aaj phir PEE ke aaya hai.”

    Posted By: Lupoka On: Friday, August 24, 2007 | Messages: 1


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  • Jalaate hai hum apne dil ko diye ki tarah..
    Teri Zindagi main khushiyon ki roshni laney k liye.
    Seh jatey hain her chubhan ko apne pairon taley..
    Teri Rahoon main phool bhichane ke liye.

    Posted By: Lupoka On: Friday, August 24, 2007 | Messages: 2

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  • Wada na kero agar tum nibha na sako,
    Chaho na usko jis ko tum pa na sako,
    dost to bohat hain dunya main par,
    Ek khaas rakho jis k bina tum muskura na sako.

    Posted By: Humbugg TheGreat On: Friday, September 07, 2007 | Messages: 1

Hi SMS FansReaders,

 

I have posted some good messages earlier in my blog , thought it would be better to have a seperate page exclusively for sms, so here i am adding this seperate page for crazy and funny sms , for many jobless people like me who have no qualms in sending funny sms jokes no matter what time it is. I am just adding the good ones which i have come through.
Hope u like it..i will keep updating it…and u can add ur sms too by posing it in the comment box..

 

No vulgar messages allowed!!!

>> once a couple goes 2 a theatre. then a mosquito get enetrs the grls skirt..

guesss were did it bite…

guess

guess

guess

Dirty minds always thinkin bad…

SoMe1 AsKs Me Wht is hUmAnity,
I wud SiT nExT 2u,
PuLL U CloSe 2 Me,
PuT mY ArMs ArOuNd U
n sAy pRoUdLy,
DiS Is humanity..
Lovin ANIMALS..!

>> JANNI;
Fire ko Aag kahate hai;
Cobra ko Naag kehate hai;
Garden ko baag kehate hai;
Gusse ko raag kehate hai AUR
jo tumhare pass nahi hai;
ucse DIMAG kehate hai…

>> Two surds go fishing. They catch a lot of fish and return to shore.

The first surd says:
“I hope u remember the spot where u caught all those fish.”
The other answers:
“Yes,I made ‘X’on the side of the boat to mark the spot.”
“U idiot!”replies the first.”how do u know u will get the same boat tommorrow.”

>> What do you do when a Sardar throws a pin at you?
Run like crazy….he’s got a hand grenade in his mouth.

>> height of stupidity

What is the height of stupidity?
2 sardarjies sitting on a motorcycle & fighting for a window seat.

 

>> Boy friends are like Pani puri
“alwayz tasty”
like pizza
“hot nd spicy”
nd Hubbyz r lIke
“Dal chawal”
whn ther is nO other OptiOn P

>> A chines was in hospital,
A man went 2 see him,
chines said: CHING CHING MOU CHU CHA & died
Man went china 2 ask the meaning.
it was kutay k bachy oxygen k pipe se pair hata

>> Interviewer: imagine that u r in room with all doors & windows closed & it caught fire, now how can u escape?
Sardar ji: very simple, I’ll stop imagining…

>> Sardar complaint to police: Sir, All items in my house r missing except TV
Police: Why thief didn’t stole the TV?
Sardar: Because i was watching TV naa.

Watz wrong wid ur phone ?

I tried calling u but the operator said,

Welcome to jungle,
the monkey u r trying to contact is on the tree plz try later
….

>> Q: Watz the differnce B/w Aadmi and Aurat ?

Ans: Aurat aik hee aadmi say bohat sari umeed kerti hai,
Aur
Aadmi bohat sari aurton say aik hee umeed kerta hai.

>> At the train
Train rukii,
khidki khulii,
nazrein milii,
usne kaha, !!”Chaay garam Chaay”!!..

>> During WC when Sehwag went to batting.
sehwag’s wife phoned there for him
Wife : Hello! Can i Get Sehwag,please ?
Greg Chappel : Im Afraid he is not here at the moment.
Wife : where hs he gone ?
greg : Madom! u knw he is our opening batsman. he hs gone 4 batting
Wife : No probs ! I’ll hold on. Im sure he’ll come back soon

>> Sachin’s wife : Can you go to the market please? Sachin : I’ve lost the World Cup so I’m not sure if the public will respect me. Wife : It’s ok, wear my saree and people will recognise you as some lady…….. Sachin wears his wife’s saree and enters the market. While shopping, a lady near him smiles at him and asks “Hi Sachin, how are you?” Sachin is shocked because he thought no one would recognise him.
Sachin : How do you know it’s me?
Lady : Hi da, it’s me Dravid!!!

>> Calender 2007
jan- ROSE,
feb- prapose
march-gift
april-lift
may-chating
june-dating
july-missyou
aug.-kissyou
sep.-anger
oct-danger
nov-left
dec-next

>> Can u Elaborate COLLEGE ? Its like this
C ? Come
O ? on
L ? Lets
L ? Love
E ? Each
G ? Girl
E ? Equally

>>Amitabh bachan in KBC
Question for 10 lac to Sardar jee
What is the colour of your wife’s underwear?
Option 1 : White
Option 2 : Grey
Option 3 : Black
Option 4 : Blue
Sardar jee : Can i phone a friend?

>>Wife: I will die
Husband: I will also die
Wife: Why u want 2 die ?
Husband: Becoz main itni khushi bardasht nahi ker sakta!


>>Boy: Main tumsay Shadi tu kerloon Magar Meray Ghar Walay Nahi Maan Rahay
Girl: Kon Kon Hai Tumharay Ghar Mein ?
Boy: 1 Wife 2 Bachay )

Close ur eyes…

think abt ur self

ur face,

ur style,

ur nature,

ur looks,

now open ur eyes..

u hv jus spent half a minute watching a

horror movie!!!!!!!!!!!!

Smile- the language of love
Smile- a source to win hearts
smile-creates warmth in ur personality
so…….
………….
Brush ur teeth regularly!!

>> If people say u r <crazy> be patient
u r <idiot> relax
u r <stupid> be cool
but if they say u r <intelligent> rakh kay thappar lagana salooon ko mazak ki bhi koi had hoti hay

Why cant a girl can be both intelligent and good looking…. because then it would make her a boy

>> U r miles away from me. still im watching
ur every movements by 3 different
channels….

1) discovery
2) national geographic
3) animal planet

Question And Answer SMS

CAN U ANSWER ANY OF D QUESTIONS????????
LETS SEE……………
>> Q- Prasad ask’s Kumble to bring a pepsi… Kumble brings a bottle of pepsi but goes directly to Tendulkar.
?why ?? why ?? :-
Ans. Tendulkar is an opener.
By: Wajahat Karim
>> Q. The Madrasi said, I want to see the movie ‘heart is umbrella’. Which movie did he really want to see?
Ans. Dil Chhata Hai!
By: Tauqir Hussain
>> Q: Woh kya hai jo Dil main hain, Mann main hai par Dhadkan main nahi?
.
Socho socho
?
Ans. aarey Aamir Khan !!!!!!!

>> Q. What will! u call a person who is leaving India??
?
Socho……………
?
Ans. Hindustan Lever (Leaver).
>> Q. Kalidas ka ek bhai joote banata tha us ka naam kya tha……………………………….?
Ans. Adidas
>> Q. RAM SITA HAI … TO RAM KAUN HAI ??
?
Ans – . TAILOR ( darzi )
By: Fayyaz Khan
>> Q.  SITA RAM HAI TO SITA KAUN HAI
?
Ans. Sita MEMORY hai (RAM: Random Access Memory)
By: Zindagi Rocks

>> Mangta hoon to deti nahin ho: JAWAB MERI BAAT KA
Deti ho to khada ho jata hai: ROM-ROM JAZBAAT KA
Kyon bolti ho ke dheere se daalo: BALON MAIN PHOOL GULAB KA.

>> He: Ander gaya kya ?
She: ha! Gaya
He: Dukha kya??
She: Zara bhi nahi
He: Aur ek baar
She: Ab isme dalo
He: Acch laga!!
She: H! ! a.. bahut
He: OK..MADAM KA SANDALS PACK KARO!!!!

>>  Mujhe

Aap se
P…
Py….
Pya….
Pyaa….
Pyaaz….
Katwani hai omlatte k liye.
Kaat den gay na plz….

>> Lantee,
Begherat,
Zalil,
Kaminey,
Kanjoose,
Bewafa,
Matlabi,
Khuda aap ko in sab qisam k logon se bachaye.

>> Police: 15
Time Check: 14
Love: 143
Fraud: 420
Muslim: 786
Cigarette: 555
Bear: 500
Mobilink: 300
James Bond: 007
aur
DON:
0308-82315583
By: Asad Siddiqui

>> Main aur tum,
Tum aur main,
Yani k hum dono,
Aaj raat ko,
Aik doosre ko,
12 baje k baad,
Akele main,
Miss calls dengay…
By: Wasiq Ansari


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