Unique Funny SMS in Urdu, Hindi and English

Blonde Jokes - Bar Jokes

2 bachey jungl main poti ker rehey they achank lione aa geya
pehla bacha
chote dar tu nahi raha
dosra bacha nahi main nahi darta
pehla bacha tu saley apni doh mari kyun doh raha hai
—————————————————————————————————————
agar aap kahin jaa rahe ho or KALI BILI apke aage se guzar jaye to iska kia matlab he???????????????????

is ka matlab hai

k

KALI BILI bhi kahin jaa rahi hai
—————————————————————————————————————
Can v do romance in the evening today?

I’m in a good mood
Just a little bit of kissing and biting

reply me soon!

urs lovingly

“MOSQUITO”
———————————————————————————————————
If I was an artist,
you would be my picture!
If I was a poet,
you would be my inspiration!
If I was an author you would be my story!

But I’m only a cartoonist!
——————————————————————————————————————–
What is the height of telling a lie?
A negro telling his girlfriend, “tenu kaala chasma jachda hai, jachda hai gore mukhde te”
——————————————————————————————————————-
Teacher: Agar apna character sudharna hai to sab auraton ko MAA kaha karo.
Student: Madam is se mera character to theek rahega, par mere baap ka bigad jayega
———————————————————————————————————-
Medical Shayari
When you breathe, you respire!
Wah Wah!
When you breathe, you respire!
Wah Wah!

When you don’t breathe, you expire!
Wah Wah, kya baat hai!
———————————————————————————-
Jise koyal samjhe, woh kauwa nikla. Dosti ke naam
par hauwa nikla. Jo roka karte they humein
sharab peene se, aaj unki jeb se pauwa nikla.
————————————————————————–
Media: Prince, bahar aa kar acha lag raha hai?
Prince: Kya acha lagega? Andar choclate thi,
pastry thi, milk badam tha. Thodi der aur ruk
jaate shayad Bipasha bhi aa jati.
—————————————————————————-
Boy: I am not rich like rohit, I don’t even have
a bid car like rohit. But I really love you!
Girl: I love you too, but tell me more about rohit..
————————————————————————–

Funny Jokes

When i open my eyes every morning i pray to God
that everyone should have a friend like you….
Why should only i suffer!!!
—————————————————————————————

One day Santas Girlfriend asks him, Darling, om
our Engagement will you give me a RING?Santa:Ya
sure, Give me ur Telephone No.
————————————————————————————–

When I was born Devil said…Oh Shit!!! Another
GOD!!!..& When u were born devil said …
Oh Shit!!!!Competition…!!! ….
———————————————————————————–

Fill in the blank…Im ur …..friend-
a)-Cute b)-Sweet c)-Loving d)-Boy/Girl
e)-Best of all Reply is a must…
———————————————————————————-

Do U know the fullform of COLLEGE- C-Come,O-On,
L-Lets, L-Love, E-Each,G-Girl,E-Equally……
Thats why boys go to college regularly….
———————————————————————————

Who said english is easy???Fill in the blank with
YES or No… 1.—–I dont have brain…
2.—–I dont have sence… 3.—–I am stupid….
—————————————————————————————-

If ur world is spining Round & Round..& Round….
Ur heart is beating fast ,do u think its LOVE?
na Munna na its called high B/P…
—————————————————————————————-

Merry Christmas, Enjoy New Year, Happy Easter,
Good luck on Valentines, Spooky Halloween &
Happy Birthday Now bug off and don’t annoy me
for the next 12 months!!!!
———————————————————————————————

what happend 2 ur mobile? i was trying 2 call u
but i got this msg: welcome 2 D jungle network,D
monkey u r tring 2 call is on tree plz try later.
————————————————————————————————

First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring,
then the suffering
————————————————————————————————

Last night I lay in my bed looking at the
beautiful stars, the moon and the sky…then i
thought where the fuck is my roof
—————————————————————————————————

Birdy birdy in the sky dropped a poopy in my eye,
I don’t worry I don’t cry, I’m just happy that
cows can’t fly!
——————————————————————————————————

If your a Vegetarian to be nice to animals, why
are you eating there food
——————————————————————————————————–

I’m a killer, i kill people for money, but you
are my friend
I KILL YOU FOR FREE !!
———————————————————————————————————–

Its been a rough day.I got up this morning,put on
a shirt N a button fell off.I picked up my
briefcase N the handle came off.I’m afraid 2 go
2 the bathroom
———————————————————————————————————-

Jesus says to John come forth ill give you
eternal life. John came fifth he won a toaster
————————————————————————————————————

At dis moment in time 10 million people r having
sex.5 million people r drinking coffee.100
million people r sleeping & 1 stupid fool is
reading my text!pass on
———————————————————————————————————-

The rain makes all things beautiful. The grass &
flowers 2. If rain makes all things beautiful
why doesn’t it rain on you?
————————————————————————————————————–

i want u 2 know dat our friendship means alot
2 me.U cry i cry.U lauf i lauf.U jump out of da
window… I look down & den… i lauf again
————————————————————————————————————

An independant study has proven dat those who
have a bad sex life & who are crap in bed are
readin dis message in their right hand!
————————————————————————————————————–

I’m @ the police station now been done 4 drink
driving.Urine sample was positive so I nicked
the sample.they r now doin me 4 taking the piss
————————————————————————————————————

girls are like phones. we like to be held and
talked too- but if u press the wrong button u’ll
be disconnected!
————————————————————————————————————-

Did you ever experience cooking popcorns???????????here is some experience just check it out and try by your self too!
Inside every popcorn kernel is a drop or two of water.When you cook corn in very hot oil , the water inside the kernels heats up and begins to turn to steam.As you continue cooking the corn, […]

Imraan Hashmi Ne Apni Girlfriend Ko Pehle Apna AASHIQ BANAYA.
Phir Usne CHOCOLATE Main ZEHER Milakar Uska MURDER Karvaya.[…]

Waqt ki dhar k saath hum chaltay hain,
Isi ada pe tou log hum pe martay hain,
SMS ki duniya k hum beetaaj badshah hain,
Isi liye log humain SMS karnay se dartay hain!.

TUMHARAY BINA ZINDAGI MAIN HAI SANNATA,
TUM HI MERAY KABAB TUM HI MERAY PARATHA,
YE DIL HO GAYA TUM PE LATTOO,TUM HI MERE BESAN K LADOO,
AB TO DEKHUN TUMHARAY HE DREAM,TUM HE TO HO MERE CHAT PATAY HALEEM,
JO TUM HO SAATH TO HAR SHAAM HO SUHANI,
TUM HI TO HO MERI STUDENT’S KI BIRYANI.

Celebrate the season with Windows Live™ Messenger and chat directly with Santa! Tell him what you want for Christmas, talk about life at the North Pole, and play holiday games with Howard the Elf. […]

Chand ke liye sitare hazaro honge,

magar sitaro ke liye chand ek hai,

aap ke liye loog hazaro honge,

magar hamare liye aap ek hain.
Only the open heart receives
LOVE
Only the open mind receives
WISDOM
Only the open hand receives
GIFTS
and…
Only the CUTE 1″s receive
MESSAGES From ME!

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• Bijali Chali Gai
  Jise dil diya woh dilhi chali gayi..
  Jise pyar kiya woh italy chali gayi…
  Dil ne kaha khud kushi(suicide) kar le zalim…
  Bijali ko haath lagaya to bijali chali gayi… hihihi

  Posted By: Admin On: Friday, September 28, 2007 | Messages: 1

• DIWANA HOTA
  TU SAWAL NAHI EK PHALI HAI,
  MERI MANZIL TU NAHI TARI SAHELI HAI,
  TU SHAMA HOTI MAIN PARWANA HOTA,
  NA TU COACHING JATI NA MAIN DIWANA HOTA.

  Posted By: Sumbul On: Friday, September 28, 2007 | Messages: 1

• Dance Kon Karega
  Har qarz dostee ka kaun ada karega
  Jab hum hee na raheinge tou dostee kaun karega
  Aye mere khuda mere doston ko salamat rakhna
  Werna meri shadi men dance kaun karega.

  Posted By: Funtoosh On: Friday, September 28, 2007 | Messages: 1

• CHANTA LAG JAI GA
  PHOOL KO MAT TORO KANTA LAG JAI GA
  LARKI KO MAT CHAIRO CHANTA LAG JAI GA.

  Posted By: Rehan On: Friday, September 28, 2007 | Messages: 1

• Joote khata hoon
  Apple kat ta hoon knife se,
  Paani peeta hoon pipe se,
  Kya zamana aaa gaya,
  Joote khata hoon wife se.

  Posted By: Shayare Maghrib On: Friday, September 28, 2007 | Messages: 1

• Bachchon waali
  Gul gaya, Gulshan gaya, Gaye honthon ki laaali
  Ab to peeecha chor de, main ho gaye bachchon waali.

  Posted By: Ariese Ansari On: Friday, September 28, 2007 | Messages: 1

• Kisi aur ko
  Kamaata nahin hun itni ke tujhe roz khilaoon
  Aaati hai to aaa ja, ya kisi aur ko pataooon.

  Posted By: Shayare Maghrib On: Friday, September 28, 2007 | Messages: 1

• Shaam hote hii
  Shaam hote hii ye Dil udaas hota hai
  Toote khwaboo ke siwa kuch na pass hota hai
  Tumahri yaad aise waqt bohat aati hai
  Bandar jab koi aas-paas hota hai..

  Posted By: Dhump On: Friday, September 28, 2007 | Messages: 1

• Kya aankheiN hain
  Kya aankheiN hain aapki, kya baatein hain aapki..
  us khuda ne kuch aisa aapko bnaya hai…
  maano…”Shhhsss…KOI Hai” se bhoot nikal aaya hai….

  Posted By: Shayare Maghrib On: Friday, September 28, 2007 | Messages: 1

• Aap kya jaano
  Aap kya jaano hum kitna yaad karte hain
  maano ya na maano har pal fariyaad karte hain
  Roz khat likhte hain CARTOON NETWORK ko
  aur aapko play karne ki maang karte hain….
  waaaaahhhhhhhhh…

  Posted By: Humbugg TheGreat On: Friday, September 28, 2007 | Messages: 2

Mazahiya Shayari By Page: 1 - 2 - Next

• Gadha kitna bekaar janwar hai,
  Duniya isko nakara samjhti hai,
  Magar is bechare ki himmat to dekho,
  ye sms kitni ghor se parh raha hai.

  Posted By: Dapper On: Wednesday, September 19, 2007 | Messages: 1

• Manzil ki taraf badhte chalo. Jo Dil kahe usi rah ko chuno, piche walo ko age na jaane do aur jo aage hai unse aage niklo.
  Tabhi 1 acche Truck Driver banoge….
  Ha ha ha ha

  Posted By: Dapper On: Wednesday, September 19, 2007 | Messages: 1

• Dali ne dali par nazar dali, kisi ne is par dali, kisi ne uspar dali, hum ne jis par nazar dali, uske baap ne uski shaadi kahin aur kar dali.Posted By: Dapper On: Wednesday, September 19, 2007 | Messages: 1

• Plz Wait,I want to take ur Photo,SMILE Plz, Click, Got…. Developing…. Plz Wait….. Processing…. BHOOT ka kabhi photo ata hai kya?Posted By: Dapper On: Wednesday, September 19, 2007 | Messages: 1

• Suraj Hua Madham
  Suraj Hua Madham , chand bhi chalne laga,
  mein thehra raha, zamin chalne lagi,
  sajna kya ye! hi! ! ! pyaar hai ??
  Nalayak, yeh pyar nahi EARTHQUAKE hai ! ….BHAAG !

  Posted By: Irfan On: Sunday, September 23, 2007 | Messages: 1

• Haseen Chehra
  Maine poocha chand se…Ke dekha hai kahin mere yaar sa haseen……..
  Chaand ne kaha………………… 265752 entries found…………..

  Posted By: Irfan On: Sunday, September 23, 2007 | Messages: 1

• Samosa khaty ho
  app roj roj samosa khaty ho kayun
  Hunko aise jhooth mai bahlaty ho kayun
  humko koi batlaye Roje kab se shuru hone wale hai
  Hum karty hai navratri ka vart, wo to 4th Oct se shuru hone wale hai!!!

  Posted By: Irfan On: Sunday, September 23, 2007 | Messages: 2

• Khane ka box
  arre kyu ho rahi hai yaha pe khane ki baate,
  kyu nahin koi karte khana lane ki baate,
  hum bhuke hai kabse, koi to de de khana,
  door rakh ke khane ka box yu na karo hume satane ki baate!

  Posted By: Irfan On: Sunday, September 23, 2007 | Messages: 2

• Bill tu bhar
  Hai tu agar mera dilbar,
  Hai tu agar mera dilbar,
  To aaj ke lunch ka bill tu bhar.

  Posted By: Irfan On: Sunday, September 23, 2007 | Messages: 1

• VBHUTI KO dande
  nahi VBHUTI KO dande nahi marna CHAHIYE
  sidha samunder mai dhakka de anna!!
  Samundar ka pani ganda ho jayega
  woh pani pike to chuha bhi mar jayega.

  Posted By: Irfan On: Sunday, September 23, 2007 | Messages: 1

Hindi Funny SMS By Page: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - Next

• What letters r missing in H__RT? EA or U? Pick EA & u get a heart!if u pick U,u will get hurt! I’d pick U coz it’s better to get hurt than have a heart without U!Posted By: Nazim Khan On: Sunday, July 29, 2007 | Messages: 1

• PAINTING
  A man was looking at a painting 4 a long time of a naked woman with leaves covering the body, he was asked what he was doing & he answered - waitng 4 autumn.

  Posted By: Nazim Khan On: Sunday, July 29, 2007 | Messages: 1

• BEHIND YOU
  DuRiNg OuR FrIeNdShIp, ThErE wIlL B TiMeS U wOn’t SeE Me BeSiDe U, DuN ThInK I LeFt U BeHiNd, I JuSt ChOsE To WaLk BeHiNd U So I CaN CaTcH U WhEn U Fall…

  Posted By: Ariese Ansari On: Sunday, July 29, 2007 | Messages: 1

• WITHOUT A FRIEND LIKE U
  EveRyDay I seE LoTs oF StRangErS PasSiNg By mE, ThiS mAkeS mE reAlisED tHat, LifE woUlD be BORING, WiThoUt A FriEnD LiKE U…

  Posted By: Nazim Khan On: Sunday, July 29, 2007 | Messages: 1

• NEVER LOSE TRUE FRIENDS
  I always thought loving some1 was the greatest feeling, but I realised tat loving a friend is even better, we lose ppl we love but we never lose true friends.

  Posted By: Funtoosh On: Sunday, July 29, 2007 | Messages: 1

• NEVER SPLIT
  I met U as a stranger, I leave U as a friend, as long as the world stands, our friendship nv ends. All friends nv split N even if they do they will meet again.

  Posted By: Ariese Ansari On: Sunday, July 29, 2007 | Messages: 1

• FRIENDSHIP
  The ship that will never sink is my friendship with you.

  Posted By: Rehan On: Sunday, July 29, 2007 | Messages: 1

• MEMORY LASTS FOREVER
  A memory lasts forever, and never does it die. True friends stay together and never say good bye.

  Posted By: Nazim Khan On: Sunday, July 29, 2007 | Messages: 1

• OUT OF MY CONTROL
  Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was choice, but falling in love with you was completely out of my control.

  Posted By: Nazim Khan On: Sunday, July 29, 2007 | Messages: 1

• ANGEL FRIENDS
  I believe in angels, the kind that heaven sends. I’m surrounded by angels but I call them my best friends.

  Posted By: Nazim Khan On: Sunday, July 29, 2007 | Messages: 1

English Friendship SMS By Page: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - Next

• They’ve got a picture of her at the hospital - it saves using the stomach pump.Posted By: Joomla On: Sunday, July 29, 2007 | Messages: 1

• About as innocent as a Nun doing pressups in a Cucumber field.Posted By: Joomla On: Sunday, July 29, 2007 | Messages: 1

• Whiter than a pair of Snow White’s knickers.Posted By: Joomla On: Sunday, July 29, 2007 | Messages: 1

• He’s got a face as long as an undertakers tapemeasure.Posted By: Joomla On: Sunday, July 29, 2007 | Messages: 1

• He’s as red as an overdrawn account at the local blood bank.Posted By: Joomla On: Sunday, July 29, 2007 | Messages: 1

• You could park a bike on that bum.Posted By: Joomla On: Sunday, July 29, 2007 | Messages: 1

• As useful as a grave robber in a crematorium.Posted By: Joomla On: Sunday, July 29, 2007 | Messages: 1

• They call her ‘The radio station’ cuz she’s so easy topick up.Posted By: Joomla On: Sunday, July 29, 2007 | Messages: 1

• I’ve seen better teeth on a worn out gear box.Posted By: Rehan On: Sunday, July 29, 2007 | Messages: 1

• He’s as camp as a row of tents.Posted By: Ariese Ansari On: Sunday, July 29, 2007 | Messages: 1

Text Insults By Page: 1 - 2 - 3 - Next

• CHAPPAL or LOTAY
  Kyon her baar mosam ki tarah badal jate ho,
  her naye saal hamara dil dukhate ho,
  Ye baat sun ker hamari rooh tak Kanp uthti hai,
  Ae dost tum masjidon se CHAPPAL or LOTAY churate ho.

  Posted By: Fayyaz Khan On: Friday, November 09, 2007 | Messages: 2

• DUM hila rahe ho
  Ye kis tarah yaad aarahe ho,
  Aankhen band hain phir bhi nazar aarahey ho,
  Najane kyon aisa lagata hai, samne khare ho aur DUM hila rahe ho.

  Posted By: Wajahat Karim On: Saturday, November 10, 2007 | Messages: 1

• LIKHNE WALA GADHA
  Aapko yaad hoga na! ek baar aap kahin ja rahe they k ek diwaar per Parha “PARHNE WALA GADHA”.
  Aapko bohat Gussa aaya aur aapne use mita ker likh diya “LIKHNE WALA GADHA”

  Posted By: Wajahat Karim On: Saturday, November 10, 2007 | Messages: 1

• LAUGHING AT U
  Roses r red, voilets r blue, Monkey Like U should b kept in ZOO.
  Don’t get angry, u will find me there too, not in the cage,
  But LAUGHING AT U. HA HA HA

  Posted By: Wajahat Karim On: Saturday, November 10, 2007 | Messages: 1

• A person sends a msg to his friend.Jis tarha heere ko heera katta hai… Sone ko sona katta hai… Lohey ko loha katta hai.. Theek usi tarha dekh lena ek na ek din.. Tumhe kutta katega…

  Friend replies
  Itna maronga k apne zakham chato gay.
  Main ne tumhara kya bigara hai jo tum mujhe kato gay?

  Posted By: Jasper On: Monday, July 30, 2007 | Messages: 2

• Aap ki palkon per khawab rakh gaya koi,
  aap ki sanso per naam likh gaya koi,
  Chaloo wada hai aap se bhool jana humain,
  Agar hum se acha dost aapko mil jahay koi.

  Posted By: Dhump On: Tuesday, August 07, 2007 | Messages: 1

• Aapki aankhon main milegi humain panah,
  Chahe samjho dil lagi ya samjho gunah,
  Bhaley he humain koi DEEWANA qarar dey,
  Hum to ho gaye aapki dosti main **”FANAA”**

  Posted By: Dhump On: Tuesday, August 07, 2007 | Messages: 1

• Qarz dosti ka ada kon karay ga?
  dost na hon gay to wafa kon karay ga?
  aey ALLAH mere doston ko salamat rakhna,
  warna mere jinay ki dua kon karay ga?

  Posted By: Dapper On: Tuesday, August 07, 2007 | Messages: 1

• Woh darakht jin per parindon k ghar nahi hotey,
  Daraz jitney bhi hon mautbar nahi hotey,
  mere doston ki pehchan hai sirf itni,
  Un k dilon main nafraton k ghar nahi hotey.

  Posted By: Dapper On: Tuesday, August 07, 2007 | Messages: 1

• Jisney Chand ki roshni nahi dekhi.
  jisney pholon ki tazgi nahi dekhi.
  jo ye kehte hain k mitt jati hai dooriyon se dosti.
  Usney shayad hamari dosti nahi dekhi.

  Posted By: Dapper On: Tuesday, August 07, 2007 | Messages: 1

• Dost
  Beshak Kuch Waqt Ka Intzar
  Mila Hamko, Par Khuda se Badkar
  Yaar Mila Hamko, Na rahi Tammana
  Kisi Jannat Ki, E-Dost Teri Dosti
  se Wo Paar mila hamko!!!!!!!!

  Posted By: Lupoka On: Friday, August 24, 2007 | Messages: 1

• Yaad
  Her taraf khamoshi kaa saya hai,
  zindagii me pyar kisne paya hai?
  hum yaado me jhoomte hai unki,
  Aur zamana kehta hai “Dekho aaj phir PEE ke aaya hai.”

  Posted By: Lupoka On: Friday, August 24, 2007 | Messages: 1

• Jalaate hai hum apne dil ko diye ki tarah..
  Teri Zindagi main khushiyon ki roshni laney k liye.
  Seh jatey hain her chubhan ko apne pairon taley..
  Teri Rahoon main phool bhichane ke liye.

  Posted By: Lupoka On: Friday, August 24, 2007 | Messages: 2

• Wada na kero agar tum nibha na sako,
  Chaho na usko jis ko tum pa na sako,
  dost to bohat hain dunya main par,
  Ek khaas rakho jis k bina tum muskura na sako.

  Posted By: Humbugg TheGreat On: Friday, September 07, 2007 | Messages: 1

>> Always start your day with a lot of… S E X
S - SMILE
E - ENERGY
X - XCITEMENT
so make S E X a daily habit, and youll always B SUCC SEX FUL! in LIFE.

>> In a bath room, a boy touches a girl everywhere! You Know whose that boy? Stupid It’s Lifeboy Soap! Dirty people always think dirty.

>> pahlay hat ma lo
phir mon mai lo
phir thook lagao
phir sidha karoo
phir sorakh ma daloo
uff..
kithna muskhil ha soi mai dagha dalna

>> Beti: Maa Gaon mein Fauji aaye hain
Maa: andar aaja inki niyat bahut kharab hoti hai

Beti: Maa fauji Indian hain
Maa: to bakri ko bhi andar le aa.

>> Train mai aik husband apni wife say:
tujh say shadi ker k pachta raha hun
dil kerta hai tujhey kuttay k agay dal dun

samnay wala passenger:wao wao wao wao!!!

>> Sardar : Yar meri biwi pani se bohat darti hai.
Friend : Acha wo kaise?

Sardar : Yar kal mein ghar gaya to wo bathtub
mai bhi security guard k sath bethi thi.!!

>> Sardar sent SMS to his BOSS:
“Me sick, no work”
Boss SMS back:
“When I am sick I kiss my wife try it”
2 hours later sardar sms 2 boss:
“Me ok, ur wife very sweet”

>> In a party a lady wanted
to go to toilet so
she inquired with a sardar
papaji susu karne ki jagah dikhao,

sardarji replied u naughty
pehle tum dikhao.

>>Teacher: Bacho batao k billi 1 sath itnay
saray bachay kaisay paida karti hay?

Kid: Miss agar aap road pay billi ki
tarah ghoomo to aap ko pata chal jayega…

>> Boy:chalo kisi sunsaan/viraan jagah chaltey hain!

Girl:tum aisi-waisi harkat to nahi karoge?

Boy:bilkul nahi!

Girl:to phir rehne do…

>> Sardar on phone:

Doctor my wife is pergnant.She is having pain right now.

Doctor: Is this her first child?

Sardar: No this is her husband speaking…

>> Catch her by her waist…
Bring her home..
Keep ur hand on her neck
Put ur lips on her lips
& have a …
…nice drink…PEPSI

>> Boy and girl of class 2 asked teacher: “can kids of our age have kids?”

Teacher replied ” NO Never!!”

boy said to girl :” see i told you to not to worry!!!!”.

>> Ye Sookha Ander Jata Hai,
aur,Gila Bahir Ata Hai,
Phele Chota Hota Hai,
Phir Ye Mota Hota Hai,
Jab Ye Ander Rehta Hai,
To Ye Red Kar Deta Hai,
Thori Dair Helane Ke Bad Jab Esai Bahir Nekalo,
To Apne Kam Dikha Kar Ye,
Bejan Sa Bahir Ata Hai,
Kuch Aur Nahin Hai Ye,
Es Ko LIPTON TEA BAG ,Kahty Hain.

By: Rashi Joker